Melancholic Night

I feel a little gloomy tonight. :(

You know the feeling of wanting to do something but you just can't? I am feeling that at the moment and I have been feeling that since last year. May be, before Christmas pa.

Okay, to get it straight, my camera is broken. My Nikon D5100. Fell off the car by accident, while John's getting off too. Sabay silang bumaba ng sasakyan! We argued with the issue but it was already settled. Okay naman kami. Hehe. However, I feel so depressed. I was not able to take photos of us last Christmas.. Even New Year.. and the recent occassion, which was the Christening of hubby's nephew.

I miss my camera! :(

I checked where we can have it fixed. The only place authorized to do so (I think...) is the Columbia Digital in Megamall. Diagnostic fee is P5,000. If they need to change a part inside, another payment pa. We really can't prioritize that now because we still have a lot of things to buy/pay/save for pa. Huhu.

This is one of those times where in it pushes me to work na for an extra income. As you all know, I am a full time mommy and wife. We don't really have that much money to make it (the repairing of camera) on top of the list.

As John said to me, smile na daw ako, in time we'll have it fixed din. I was agitated a bit with the word "in time???"... parang ang tagal ng "in time" eh.. When John noticed that "troubled-look" of mine, he clarified that we'll have it fixed in the first half of this year. :)

Petix muna ang bunsong baby ko.

Do you know any place/store that is authorized to repair this kind of camera, Nikon D5100? Thanks in advance!

Ditch The Trash Talk!

I am the kind of person who actually know how to smile a lot when I am in a crowd especially with friends. At home, it's a different story. Honestly though, I don't really live in a happy home. Quarrels here and there, not very positive. Actually, we're 'somehow' a happy home, but once a fight/quarrel has been started, it doesn't stop for hours. My dad is the main problem. He doesn't listen at all. He doesn't absorb everything you say to him. I am the type of person that do not really surrender. 'Hindi purkit tatay kita at matanda ka sakin, hahayaan kita.' To others may be, I will stop, listen and understand. But to him, no! You may say a lot of things about this personality of mine towards him but I don't mind at all. It's my own preference. I will stop, listen and understand him if he knows how to do it as well. 'Tumatanda ng paurong, and I'm not happy about it... AT ALL.' I don't need to elaborate but you can read between the lines. 

I often ponder on these happenings at home. I feel sorry for myself that I had to go through with this everyday. Also, I feel guilty that I have to raise my own child in this environment. Sometimes, I really take into consideration the idea of renting. I just can't because my hubby and my baby get all the perks of me being an only child. I am spoiled and so is my baby. So, damay nadin si hubby. 

Anyway, it is 2013. I am trying my best to ignore the negativity. Take note, TRYING! 

I also read in Cosmopolitan website: 

DITCH THE TRASH TALK
Experts say that when you're negative, it's contagious to the people around you (and then you're surrounded by negativity, which doesn't exactly help your stress level). If you find yourself wanting to vent about someone, write it in your diary instead.

-source

Yes! I really feel that it is contagious because hubby often times becomes cranky. I don't want that. I usually blame myself also because Johann, my son, is always cranky too. Will that change as he grows up? 

I really try my best to become the best mom and best wife in the world. But, I get pulled not by gravity, but by negativity. 

I want to share something that I need to put in mind somehow. I remember this line from Dark Knight Rises movie. (Just watched it last night.)

John Blake: You gotta learn to hide the anger, practice smiling in the mirror. It's like putting on a mask. 
-The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

This is actually for those few that have been/are angry, in pain/hurt or sad. Once we practice smiling, we may actually adapt to the idea that we are happy. Plus, happiness/smiling is in fact contagious as well. So spread the happiness!

Question: Do you have any rants as of the moment?
               How do you handle such experience?